Hello, again. Why support is everything.
It’s been such a long time since I last wrote a blog.
Over 2 years to be precise.
I’ll be honest it’s been a wee bit busy, and so much has changed.
The last time I wrote, I had just recovered from Covid, and had to have a whole month off work. I was so ill and exhausted that my body just had hit a massive pause button and I just had no choice but to listen and stay in bed or at least spend most of my days sitting down.
I’d literally had my first day back when my Dad had a stroke and ended up in hospital that night, me beside him. That was a very long day.
He went on to have a full month in hospital and I spend most of my spare time at his house, my childhood home making sure he had a safe and clutter free environment to come home to.
As a family unit, my hubby Ian and my affectionately called “growded ups”; Micky and Ellie, pulled together and I began what my Dad, George refers to as my apprenticeship.
This entails being the cleaner, the PA, the shopper, and anything else he needs help with. I’m basically trying to run two households. I say “trying” because sometimes it works better than others. Thank goodness for Ian, who also shops for Dad and has had to be on call too. He has been brilliant at keeping me fed and watered and supplying hugs just at the right time.
There have been many life lessons along the way, including the joys of hanging up the washing to the accompaniment of his doctors/pharmacy/hospital hold music.
How to use my time wisely on the bus, to write the content of Discovery club and many other tasks.
How to not panic everytime my Dad calls, or everytime I can’t get hold of him. I still need to check on him, or ask his lovely neighbours for assistance, but at least I am learning (slowly) not to panic.
How I need to remind myself that I have one pair of hands, one pair of legs and only one head. So, I can’t do everything all of the time. Lord knows I’ve tried, but it really is the fastest road to having a full on meltdown!
I’m also a lot more capable than I ever realised.
In the beginning there were so many new tasks to do that it was very overwhelming. I wont lie, I cried a lot. I didn’t know whether I was coming or going! There was always something to do or somewhere to be, or something to try to wrap my head around. But I’ve mostly got everything under control and ticking along nicely now.
It also helps that my Dad is so positive and funny. Although at the ripe old age of 89 he is obviously less capable than he once was, he is still pretty on the ball and mostly, incredibly easy going.
I’m so grateful for the people he has around him too.
His carers who tend to him twice a day for his personal care, food and medicine are wonderful. Especially Godswill who has been there from the beginning, often goes the extra mile, and is literally sent from heaven. They’ve been such a massive support to me as well and I feel we are definitely part of a great team.
His neighbours in all directions are a great support too and have really been there when we have needed them, especially after he has had a fall or when his mobility scooter has had a mind of its own.
Fortunately, my Dad has always been a big part of his neighbours and friends lives and they are now repaying him tenfold.
How people react to him and care about him, is a testament to how he has lived his life. Always willing to help us and others and although it has taken him time to come to terms with the fact he needs the help, rather than giving it, he has learned to accept it graciously.
It’s been a massive learning curve for both of us. I’m sure there are many of you out there who understand the challenges we’ve faced as we navigate the change in our Father and Daughter relationship.
We’ve definitely become closer and I enjoy the special moments when he tells me the many stories of his younger life.
Fortunately, I am not alone in my endeavours and I have many friends my age in a similar position. I’m so grateful that we have each other to talk things through with, as I think I could have gone completely mad without them.
My coaching has had to take a back seat, while I prioritised what was most important. I’ve still continued with Discovery Club but again, kept it very small and manageable. My wonderful Discoverer’s have been so patient and understanding and I have felt truly grateful for their support
I’ve also been well supported at my main job, with a well known pharmacy, and have been able to reduce my hours and even change location to give me more time to take a moment for myself and reduce my stress levels too.
So, my conclusion is that it’s so important to meet those challenges that come up in life head on. We never know what life is going to throw at us. All we can do is our best to get through the other side and accept every bit of support along the way!
As for Discovery club it’s over zoom on every other Wednesday at 8pm, and the more the merrier. We are a lovely friendly bunch and every time somebody new comes along, it gives the group a whole new lovely dynamic, so if you’ve been thinking about it for a while, come and join us we really would love to have you there.
Anyway that’s all for now, look after yourself and keep discovering!
Lots of love
Jane xxx